Voice Behind Bars by Tania Gonzalez
I have seen it, it’s not easy been kept inside without justice, no one to cry to, you are all alone, in your own little world, no friends to call friends any more; family members are tired and want to move on with their own lives . Without anyone beating you, you will cry your eyes out, when you think about the little ones you left behind that you were not allowed to say good bye to, or to arrange anything for, you were just taken away by unknown and un-expected visitors from the luxury of your own home.
They came in a group of five, two women and three men, I thought it was a casual thing; ‘you have to come with us to the police station, just to have a word with you’, they said, who are you I replied, we are police men one of them said. Why? I raised my voice. When you get there you will know why, one of them said with a rude voice and unfriendly face.
I thought it will take few hours and go back home, no, awhile it took to set feet back to the house I left at about 11.35 am on a faithful Thursday, the fifteenth.
Getting to the front of the house it was an unmarked car, I didn't want to enter, then they said, ‘cooperate or we will be rough with you’, then I asked them to Identify themselves again, they did, then I was sure that they were the boys sent by the big brothers, that have been watching on me. Two of them were with this bitter unhealthy envy; they were talking about my beautiful car, my luxurious chalet, my political contacts and what not.
While they kept me waiting at the police station, they were fighting so hard to get a search warrant from the judge, they finally got the warrant. Getting back to my house, where I normally call abode of peace uuhm, turned to what I see as abode of war they were like butter flies round my three-floor-chalet, that has two gardens, two balconies, at the back with beautiful view to see the sea, at the front to is the football stadium. Everywhere was turned apart; the furniture in the house makes them crazy, the electronics made them go wild, and were stung by ‘envy bee’; they turned everywhere apart, they finally came with pictures and few other papers that I believed they have planted in my house or have been given to them by their collaborators. I was taken back again to the police cell, where I was kept for three awful days.
The third day I was to appear in front of the Judge, a lady she was, rude and arrogant, was never ready to listen; next to her was the prosecutor, they were not bothered to see or know who I am inwardly. Obviously no social worker, no psychologist to talk to me to see more then the legality of what they were accusing me for, at least I wasn't dangerous to the society in any way. Bail would have been a better option until they found out what and what not; instead liberty was seized immediately.
Why, I learnt later that it was easier for them to send someone inside so they don’t pay so much on investigations, also they don’t have professionals like psychologist and social worker at the court room to help in evaluating and assessing each accused person, they don’t have budget to pay for experts while they forgot that they are wasting so much on food, light, water, accommodation and many more. Also they were trying to destroy people lives and taking their dignity away, anyway that was for the ones that are not strong and determined.
While I was in there I realized that all was pure business, some people are profiting from other people’s pains, making money on each prisoner in captivity, pure business it was and still it is.
Met with so many in there, we talk, we laugh, we cry, we fight, we party, and we do it all but the fact remains that it’s all but suffering and smiling.
Talking about prison is different from be in prison, there are millions of voiceless people in there that want people to be their voices and fight for their freedom because they are thirsty for freedom.
There you see some lawyers abusing the situation of this helpless people that have voice but can’t talk, eyes but can’t see, legs but can’t walk; the situation can be compared to being between life and death. Only the tough and the strong can survive it. To me prison is neither a place that criminals are kept nor a place to correct, rather is a place where people are been taught how to become criminals and be hardened. There’s nothing bad in correcting people, but when people are kept for so long doing nothing, then it loses all the sense it was meant to be for.
She came towards me and said, you know what one day I will be free and I will tell my story to the whole world by myself, in my own way not to glorify someone else doing it, also the story teller will not tell my story the way it is; until I tell my story one way or the other in the nearest future, I guess the butterfly in my stomach will never stop the storm in me.
My country has a different way of dealing with issues, most especially justice matters; all is ‘mañana mañana’. Is a country that has the highest numbers of prisoners in west Europe, but with the lowest number of crime; anyway like I said earlier on prison seems to be a money making business. They are been funded by the European community, some highly influential contractors are making money while others are suffering; injustice at the highest order. I agree with the fact that not all are innocent but people should not be kept in captivity until found guilty. I have inmate friends kept in the prison for four years without trial, total injustice.
The prison guards; yes, some are nice but majority are so wicked, they have been poised with wickedness. They play angels while they are the ones that promote most of the crimes that go on in the prison, from sale of mobile phones, drugs, and other illegal items, for different motives, to bribe some inmates for their own safety, to trade, to get easy love and sex. Yes, it’s a small world on its own; Love in the prison can be mad, funny and more romantic than the one in the free world. When the whole world rejects you, the only place you can get fast love is amongst fellow inmates, writing letters across from male wings to female ones and verse visa. It really keeps a lot going the day goes faster thinking about a lover nearby, seems so near but the walls make it like thousands of miles away; weekly visits, and also monthly vis-à-vis. Tough meetings, some sort of sadness and joy in a closed bottle.
Most lawyers are bunch of rogues, fake promises over and over again just to drain you by taking the last penny from you, most of them are wicked, they are not particular about fighting for justice but only to wage wars of calculated lies so as to fill their pockets by lying, convincing and confusing you and your family.
I had to change lawyers over and over again, five times I guess, all took their share of my money; they are great liars and heartless. They use inmates to promote their business by giving commission to them; an inmate without any income will be a mouth piece to a bloody lawyer just to have some money to live on. Prison is tough on its own, but tougher without money, its not called money in there like it is called out there but ‘peculio’ all your money is in a plastic card, depends on how much you ask them to put in your card weekly from your account that you’ll live on. You really have to discipline yourself to survive.
Prison can be compared with been between heaven, hell and earth; one is caught between different philosophies, time to reconcile with your inner being, whether you truly deserve being kept there at all, or could be you are serving a punishment for what you have done wrong, but not to be kept there for too long. Some go through religious experience, and see it as time of purity and self discovery.
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