Coded Name For Mistress/Paramour is Family Friend

One of the exquisite places in Nigeria then, for sure must be top 5. Being that Isofin Estate was owned by West Africa Portland Cement (WAPCO), the richest cement company in West Africa at the time. It was decorated with everything good you can think of; from swimming pool to tennis court, guest and resident bars, staff quarters, nice greenery, beautiful street lights... it was a place I can call little Spain then, a luxurious mini town. Well equipped, well laid out, neatly planned and sweetly designed. Trust me, I'm thinking of going there to check how it looks like now.

All we know back then was "Family Friend" but there are more to it than just that. There's what the Spanish call "amigo con derecho", which means, friend with rights...obviously rights to sex they mean.

My dad was lucky to have a few good jobs when he got back to Nigeria after his studies in England and a few years of work experience there. At that time Nigeria was super good and a dream home for almost all. The economy was fantastically good and things were in order, at least 100% better than now. Going back home after studying overseas was an automatic job offer then, and you can actually select from a few job offers. 

Getting back home, there were a few friends that ushered him back into Nigeria, after 10 to 12 years abroad, you need someone to guide you. This lady was one of them, a very cheerful lady, full of life, pretty and kind in her own way at least to what I was made to see at the start; she was always there. She had children, just only one of them was a girl. I was the only daughter too. 

Dad's delight was to see myself and his mistress's daughter meet, not just to meet but to spend holidays together. Thinking back now, I guess he was doing it for 'acceptance'. The holiday was arranged for us at Isofin Estate. Dad was a topman at the Purchasing Department of WAPCO (Ewekoro); which gave him a full access to this beautiful place. We had the best time of our lives there, no problems of any kind, it was a jolly 'family friendship' between me and the daughter as far as I can remember.

Now, thinking and wondering what it was all about; Did I know she was my dad's mistress? No, but I can remember that she had a full access to dad's 'other room'. Did her daughter know that my dad was her mum's Paramour? Maybe yes, maybe no, but one thing for sure she was a conventional Lagos girl, she had more experience than me in such things I believe, even though we were of the same age.

Did my mum know about this? She must have known, but being a soft and calm woman, she took it calmly, also dad's mistress was too friendly and respectful, that any wife that wants peace would just take it just the way it is, so as to have a peaceful home with her husband.

Did my dad hide it from my mum? For sure, no; Why? That's a question I might never get any answer to, since my respect for him won't let me cross that line.

Now, after so many years and experiences, I now know the full meaning of a 'family friend'. It's more than what we see and know, when you look deeply and clearly, you'll see and understand that some family friends have the right to the 'other room'. 

All situations are different, we are all different, what Mrs/Mr. A can deal with, Mrs/Mrs D might not be able to. We grow each day, and our ways of live and thinking do change. My take is, if you are happy with your situation, stay with it, if not walk away from it...but remember the choice is yours and is your life to live in happiness and peace.

Attention! Some family friends are still family friends without anything attached, you just have to figure it out. As for me, for what I have seen and what I'm still seeing, family friend is a coded name for mistress/paramour for so many people.